-
Mugged by Ducks…..
As i lay on my front eating my lunch in the park overlooking the glorious Ilkley Moors the last thing i felt was threatened. The sun was shining, I had 45 minutes left to bask and my apple was so crunchy and delicious (it was not just an apple, it was an M & S apple). Life was good. What happened next came as some surprise.
A couple of ducks approached, oh the way they waddled was ever so cute. I smiled with my mouth half full of apple and exclaimed ‘hello mr duck! aren’t you lovely!’ The first duck smiled, in a way that only a duck can, he claimed my attention fully.
I was captivated by his keen bead-like eyes and his smooth multi-toned feathers. What a well kept specimen, i suppose in a place like Ilkley the bread must be top notch, none of that stale asda smart price thick slice you’d find being hurled by the chavs-to-be from their argos prams in the ‘parks’ in leeds.
It was while this duck held my gaze that the other duck struck. Before i could say quack my lighter was gone, clasped firmly in the orange bill of duck number two. Off he waddled with my only source of flame, i choked on my apple chunk slightly as i made to my feet, chased him half way accross the park trying to persuade him that my half finished apple would be a far more delicious treat.
He listened to my cajoling tone and i could see the pity in his eyes. He shared a quick glance with duck number one who shook his head in way which said ‘let her have it Don, she’s a poor desperate soul, she has nothing to offer us and besides, i really think she thought she had befriended me. I feel sorry for her’.
Duck number two dropped my lighter as swiftly as he had thieved it from my side. I tossed the apple to one side in order to retrieve my cheap, plastic belonging.
I walked away shamed. Never again would i trust a feathered creature. And if i was honest with myself, i knew deep down, that i would never trust any other being in the future.
I walked back to my office, the bittersweet taste of apple and loss remaining in my mouth despite the persistent deep drags on my cigarette.
